mum and sister left yesterday on a 0015 hour MAS flight, i think i am going to miss them.. no, i know i will miss them and i do. its just funny that the places i have been to in the past week out-numbered those from the last semester if not last year.

sis took me on a morning to the deli section and pointed me to some of the most delicious food i tasted, i wish she was here earlier in my uni years to show me to these delights. We bought 2 double cream swiss cheese cover by salmon home that morning, and sis had me to try it while she cuts up the zucchini and cucumber for a breakfast along with scrambled eggs. I ate the whole salmon+cheese in 1 go (it was supposed to be slice up and savored piece by piece) with my sister non the wiser. Soon after I finally understood why she called it the ultimate heart stopper, you could really feel your heart skipping a few beats lol .

gonna have to start applying for internships now =\ don't think ill be getting any but will try! bought a couple of books and finished one of em being an old Dan Brown - Deception Point, good read really , it was quite addictive and couldve finsihed it a lot earlier if mum wasnt here , NOT to say im wishing she wasn't =P  im happy to hear too that mum totally understands just how much a person can get sucked into a book lol . and following that would be a tiny sense oof guilt from which i would then take her out for a walk , what a shi- son i am lol

urgh
bah, gonna game, bbl

Swept off the ground by a fleeting moment of ecstasy, my results have finally matched up to the effort so feverishly exerted during the course of the exam.

The promise for good engineering result was properly kept in place while the commerce subject went just as well if not over my expectation (albeit unreasonably low at times) It can, i hope, give me the boost i craved so much throughout my accounting subjects, telling me, that all is not lost for my ability to deal with the logic of accounting and economic. simply put, i just don't get accounting urgh..

The joy was shared, enjoyed and celebrated with friends and family who have (some of them) seeing me put my own health and sanity to the sword last month.
called dad and his reaction was .. lets just say left much to be desired, really hoped i could have shared it to him in person. its more than anything i wanted to do then....  someone said before a man in his life is either trying to live up to his fathers expectation or to make up for his mistakes .

So I really hope im living up to his expectations because whatever i do, there is always an air of inadequacy hanging over my head, shrouding myself from what i have achieved to date. the inability, i suspected was never blessed upon me, to recognize, to visualize and to feel my past achievements is really causing me great distress. Trying to fortify myself from the onslaught of negative feelings, I have only created more conflict and fear of which if any satisfaction was drawn from my efforts would brew up a sense of content and complacency.

Therefore I have unfairly dawned upon myself the idea where results is everything but a matter of be all and end all. Sources of which I could draw a wholesome feelings of joy became very limited if not entirely to understanding some topic on soil investigation. Along with that too came the instinct to distance myself from a host of things including my own need for a balanced life.. heck I know this might be pushing it. I am, after all, a student who is asked above all else to do well in studies (oh, and the being-an-asian factor too)

while .. gah continue this later , jog time

its over , lost count long ago how many hours spent studying with shear conviction and determination to do well and so many hours spent on consultation with them lecturers and tutors, its over

epic journey it was cuz along the way i was actually able to make a few friends and "get to know my tutors better"

just as i walk out into the chill of a 26th june morning to share my relieve with the warmth sunlight that was welcoming me as soon as i stepped out of the exam venue portal, text arrive wishing me happy birthday and how unlucky a day it was that Michael Jackson has passed away.

i was overwhelmed with the surge of mixed emotions, it was too much to bear. Forget about the end of exams, forget about the birthday, all it matters now we will never be graced by the talents of MJ anymore,....

RIP Michael Jackson..

June, month sapped of all possible fun and joy , gone now are the days of slack , and present here is the time to commit and work hard for another exam season. Good luck to everyone who's out there going at it hard , keep at it because in the end it will be worth your while whatever result you achieve because you can look back and assure yourself that you have done your best.

Snap Shots from a previous exam

gloomy day is was.. though I cant remember which year was this taken in

3rd consecutive Sunday spent in uni and we finally overcame this project, so happy to see everyone pulling together in the end to slay this 65page monster, the group members be Ada Chan (ada) | Kah Horng Chia (i'll rip your tongue out) | Ferry Darmadi (awesomeness) | Charlene Kuan (charlene) | Roger Lai (roger) | Dianne Lee (the korean) | Mark Moussally (egyptshun) | Guann Shih (guano) Duanyang Wu (dy) .

now with only 1 more week of classes left, its time to really roll up the sleeves and shift up the gear for exam is going to descend upon us like a  biblical plague showing no mercy on our sleep and diet.

i'd really like to start studying but theres still another gotechnical assignment to finish so guess i better get to it

Ignore the link below, its just my phone driver
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